What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
