If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
