After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
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his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
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ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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