the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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