WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
