I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
