Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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