i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
