Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
