David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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