I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
