So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
