He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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