Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think people are normalizing furries
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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