i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
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I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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