Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize