Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
