I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
