one two three fourrrrnication!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Your cock deserves a montage
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
