So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
