i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
