when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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