So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
