i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
