Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?