Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse