a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.