Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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