I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
