Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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