If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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