So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
