We're like a lot better than the average bears
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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