Plan B is the new Plan A
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
