Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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