Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
