the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
