I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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