yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Pants are for mortals
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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