He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My room smells like vodka and shame
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
