watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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