On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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