Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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