I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Drunk is not a location!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
