This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
