i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
