Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize