Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
whose parrot is this?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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