We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
sarcasm needs its own font
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
