I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
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