U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
