if i can run in heels then i can drive
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to