Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize