i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
