I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?