Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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