just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
