One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
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Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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