it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize