This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
