So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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