i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
