LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
