i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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