Christians are straight up FREAKS
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
