i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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