Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
