you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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