So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
