he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
