Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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