question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The best revenge is premature balding
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
