omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
